Divorcing Dads: How to Avoid These 4 Pitfalls in Your Divorce

June is all about dads. Children, whether they are young or old, focus on fathers this month and remember how important they are in our lives. Topham Family Law also wants to focus on dads this month by discussing some of the most common mistakes that fathers make in divorce and related custody issues.

  1.   Failing to make your relationship with your children a priority

Some fathers make the mistake of assuming that their soon-to-be ex is going to get the kids and the house anyway, so they barely put up a fight when it comes to custody issues. Children need both parent in their lives and fathers have the same right to parent their children as mothers do.

It is important for you to be involved in every aspect of your children’s lives.  Communicate with their teachers, doctors, dentists and coaches. Be sure to communicate with their mother about important milestones that are coming up so you can assist in anyway that your children requires.  

Once parent-time schedules are set up, be on time for parent-time and be present during parent-time.  Don’t spend your time on social media or watching TV. Spend the time interacting with your children and strengthening the bond you have with them. Your children are going through a difficult time when you divorce, so they need to feel that you are available for their them and are ready to listen when they want to talk.  

  1.   Posting on social media about the divorce or your ex

Saying nasty things about your soon-to-be-ex, the divorce, or even your ex’s lawyer can land you in hot water when it comes to your divorce. Keep in mind that everything you post on social media is public, whether you want it to be or not.  If your children are old enough to access social media, they may see the posts about their mother. This could be very damaging to the relationship you have with your children.

Posting pictures or comments about a new relationship can be tricky as well. Your ex may use a live-in relationship or even a serious relationship as a reason that your children shouldn’t be around you.  If your children see the posts prior to you discussing the new relationship with them, again, it could be very damaging to your relationship.

Any new purchases can also be used against you, too. If you make a big purchase, your spouse may try to argue that you are hiding assets or are trying to deceive the court. Keep in mind that everything you post will be carefully examined by your ex, their attorney, and perhaps even the court.

  1.   Getting wild when you don’t have your children

Divorce and child custody issues are stressful; there is no doubt about that. However, if you go out on the town to blow off steam, it can haunt you in court. Everyone has a camera on them at almost all times today. You shouldn’t do anything that could be used against you in your divorce. That doesn’t mean you can’t go out at all, but keep in mind that your character and level of responsibility is going to be extremely important when it comes to child custody issues.

  1.   Going to court alone

You need an attorney to help you with the challenging issues that divorce presents. Trying to go to court without an attorney, especially when your ex has a lawyer, is not a good idea. Talk to the team at Topham Family Law to learn more about how we can help fathers through this challenging time.

Written by Jaime Topham