Everyone goes through a divorce differently. It may take you months or even years to move on, or it could take you a couple of weeks. Everyone’s relationship is different, which means everyone’s end of their relationship is also going to vary. For some, the marriage may have been over long before the divorce was finalized; for others, a divorce could come as a complete shock.
Regardless of where you are in the process, you can use the following tips and information to help you get on the road to recovery after completing your divorce.
- Learn to forgive.
You may immediately think that there is no way you are going to forgive your former spouse for what you have been through. However, holding on to the past hurts you more than anything. It can also hurt your children who are trying to work through this difficult time with you.
Forgiving yourself for your mistakes in a marriage is tough, too. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to forget, but it does mean accepting what happened, realizing that you often cannot change anything, and moving forward.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
Isolating yourself from your family and friends is easy to do after a divorce. You may not like the personal questions or the prying eyes. You may be hurt or even ashamed. While it is certainly okay to have some alone time, you have to use your support network during this challenging time. Find friends and family you can count on and surround yourself with them. The longer you wait to “come out of hiding,” the harder it becomes.
If you have children, you cannot isolate yourself from them. You are always a parent first, and your child needs you. They also need to see a good example as well. If you hide, your child will too, and that is often not healthy for their social growth and development.
- Consider picking up a new hobby.
Sometimes a distraction can be a great way to move forward after a divorce. Think about activities that you have always wanted to do, but never did for one reason or another. Go to that cooking class or painting class.
Take your child to the local library for activities and adventures. Forcing yourself out of your comfort zone can really be good for you and your kids in the long run.
- Focus on you.
Chances are that you have so focused on your relationship for the past several months, that you may have forgotten about yourself as an individual. Take some time to do something that you really enjoy. Read a good book, go to a movie, buy a new gadget—do something that makes you happy.
You are going to have to rebuild at least a little after your divorce. Shifting the focus from you as a member of a couple to you as a person can be difficult. Take some time to think about what really makes you happy, and go for it. Seeking the assistance of a therapist experienced helping people transition through and after a divorce may also be beneficial.
If you need legal help with divorce, child custody, or any other family law issue, Topham Family Law is here for you. Contact our team for more information.